Doubts

Yesterday I ran 16 miles.  It was a beautiful day, the sun was out, it was over 55 degrees.  It was my most difficult run yet.  At mile 1.5, I decided that I would not be doing the marathon.  About mile 7, I decided not to make any definite decisions and would just see how it went.  I was looking forward to mile 11 when I could eat my not-so-good-tasting gel pack.  Then by mile 12.5 when I had expected that energy boost to kick in, it didn't.  By mile 14 I knew there would be no boost and my legs hurt and I told myself that I was really crazy.  I have such a wonderful life, fabulous partner, things are good and easy so why am I doing this?  At that moment I had no answer. 

Lucky I got to 16.0 at my car door.  Stumbled in, drove home, hobbled up the 2 steps, ate, then fell onto the couch with doubts hovering all around.  I realize this is the first time I am training for a marathon without my running partner and sister, Carol.  That makes it much more difficult, I am older, started out being less in shape.  Yes, excuses.  My brother, coach Jeff, set the bar very high this weekend with his Exterra Triathlon in which he crashed a number of times, once cutting his ankle so bad he needed 10 stitches.  What did he do?  He wrapped his ankle with his t-shirt, told Krista, his partner, in the bike-run transition area to meet him at the medic tent AFTER he did the run so he could get stitches.  Yes, he finished the run then got his ankle stitched.

This morning my daughter gave me a lecture too.  She said, "we don't quit."  She pointed out that I would feel worst if I didn't do the race.  Coach wrote: you can do this!!! follow the schedule! 

OKAY, I will continue...